I didn’t know what I was getting myself into when I said yes to a movie date all those years ago, but I know for sure that it was the right decision. I often feel like I don’t deserve you, or that you’re too good for me, but I’m trying daily to remember that the universe doesn’t make mistakes. My anxiety tells me you’re going to leave, that it’s all too good to be true, and that you’re getting tired of me. You remind me that my anxiety tells me a lot of things, but it doesn’t make it true. I remind myself that you were sent to me for a reason, and you are still around for a reason.
You are far from perfect to a normal standard, but you are perfect for me. You grind my gears, but you help me become a better person every day. You take my broken pieces, and help me glue them back together.
I appreciate your time, patience, words, humour, kindness, love, effort, and commitment. Whatever I did to deserve you is something I thank the universe for everyday. Regardless of what happens I will always have someone in my corner of the ring to call me on my shit but hold me until it’s over, and that I wish for ever person out there. Everyone deserves to find the love that you have for me.
I’m sorry. I’m still learning to love you. Every day I’m trying, now. I’ve spent so many years hating you when I was thin and when I was larger. I don’t want to hate you anymore, because you’ve never done me wrong. When you carried me through the best moments of my life, I still hated you. You did nothing but be there for me. You digest my favourite foods, allow me to feel so many things, let me see my surroundings. I’ve spent so much time trying to hide you from the world.
That ends today. You are nothing to be ashamed of. You are not something that needs to be hidden from the world. I don’t hate you anymore, at least I’m trying not to. I’m grateful for you. I’m trying every day to be grateful for you. You are always there when I need you to take me where I need to go. You are always there to calm me of my anxiety. I’m trying to love you body, and I will continue to try my best to love you each and everyday. All of you.
Why is society’s standard to not be body positive? It’s like if you’re confident about your body you’re a narcissist or something. What is so wrong with showing ourselves some love?!
They tell you on the airplane to secure your mask before helping another. You take time off work if you’re sick. You go to work and/or school every day to better yourself.
So why is ~simply~ being positive about your body so hard? Why are we influenced and encouraged to be insecure, (not intentionally of course)?
It’s taken years of bullshit and vastly deteriorating mental health to get to this point. I’m still struggling everyday. The most important things is that we don’t give up. I’m hitting a point in life where there’s no way out but self love. The universe has slapped me in the face because I’ve neglected myself for so long, and I must grow.
We’re all on this together. Check yourself out. Drink water. Move your body. Fuel your body. Feed your soul. Buy yourself a cupcake. Eat the cupcake. Repeat.
Anxiety doesn’t have a “look”. Nor does depression, happiness, or any other feeling and mental health condition. This is me when I want the world to see me vs when I do not. But my anxiety is there in both. My insecurities are there in both. Whether you’re panicking because you’re picking up your mom from the ferry, or panicking because you feel both mentally numb and out of control at the same time, your anxiety is valid.
Today I’m giving myself permission for this feed to not be perfect. I’m giving myself permission to be human. To make mistakes. To have depression. To have anxiety. I am giving myself permission to be and share my best and worst self today. To not kick myself down into the dirt because I assume everyone is going to think I’m doing it for attention. Or because people are going to judge me. I’m giving myself permission to be able to show my real self to the world today and from now on, and not apologize. I am unhappy in both of these pictures, but it’s really easy to hide that on social media. Let’s lift those barriers. We all have issues. We all deal with them differently. They are all valid. Be your beautiful self and don’t apologize for it. ♥️
It’s hard to see your own beauty when you are comparing yourself to others. Try and focus on the fact that you are beautiful too.
Your hair, your personality, your eyes, your talents, your arms, your hobbies, your toes, your smile, your tummy, your laugh.
Who you are is what makes you beautiful.
What you do is what makes you beautiful.
And yes; what you look does like makes you beautiful, regardless of what YOU believe.
But it is not just one of these three things. Because what’s beautiful is being who you are, and knowing that beauty is in being yourself.